Connection and Support During Your Postpartum Journey: Part 3 in What to Expect in the First Week After Birth Series

Part 3: Leaning into Your Community

In Part 1 of this series we talked about planning for rest after baby. In Part 2 we focused on the ways you will be nourishing baby and yourself with food postpartum. Today, we turn to including our community in our postpartum plan.

The Essential Nature of Connection

Connection is absolutely essential during this first week postpartum. We're physically and emotionally vulnerable after the birth of a baby and we were never meant to spend this time alone. Even for the most independent person, having support in the early days postpartum is critical.

Plan for others to take on as many of your usual responsibilities as possible so you can focus solely on caring for your baby and yourself.

During these first days, invite into your support circle (family, friends, postpartum doulas) people who:

Will prioritize your nourishment and care

Are comfortable seeing you in some state of undress

Don't expect you to play host

Listen without judgment and offer advice only when asked

Want to "mother the mother" and "nourish the prime nourisher"

This may sound harsh, but everyone else can wait to meet the baby.

If certain friends and family don't fit these guidelines, simply ask them to wait a few days or keep their visits very brief. This is an incredibly tender time for parents and babies, and maintaining a close support circle is completely appropriate.

You have my permission to not stand outside chatting with your curious neighbor. You have my permission to ask your father-in-law to wait until you're ready to wear a shirt before meeting the baby.

Conversely, it's also perfectly fine to invite all your friends and family into your bedroom while you're topless in mesh underwear! I remember my best friend visiting with flowers and food a few days after my son arrived—our entire visit happened in my bedroom. If everyone is supportive and you feel comfortable, welcome them in!

Navigating Family Boundaries Postpartum

Some families aren't accustomed to creating boundaries or having direct conversations. Communicating your postpartum needs may create friction, especially if you're setting different expectations than relatives or close friends have experienced.

Consider seeking help from trusted friends or your therapist to "script" or role-play potentially difficult conversations beforehand. A new baby creates a new version of your immediate family, which can shift your role within your extended family. This is normal. You aren't doing anything wrong by expressing your needs, even if well-meaning family members who simply want to be present push back on your requests.

A Note on "Just Us" Time the First Week After Birth

I sometimes hear families say, "We just want it to be just us for the first little while." While I support this if it's truly what you want, I strongly encourage you to consider who can provide support. Postpartum time is sweet, magical, and unpredictable.

From my perspective as a postpartum doula: If you're caring for the baby, and your partner is caring for you, who's caring for your partner? Many partners will deny needing anything and focus entirely on the birthing parent. But as we covered earlier—food needs preparation, pets need care, dishes need washing.

If you're limiting extended family involvement to protect privacy and family bonding during these first weeks, consider hiring a postpartum doula or meal delivery service so you BOTH have opportunities to slow down, bond, and rest.

Both parents experience the love and connection hormone oxytocin during skin-to-skin contact with the baby, and in two-parent households, everyone should have opportunities to connect with the baby. By the end of the first week or two, you'll likely feel more comfortable at home—managing stairs, getting dressed, feeding the baby—and this is the perfect time to gradually widen your circle of support.

For those of you who are local to Colorado - movement and nature are popular ways to relax and de-stress in our community. Consider having a friend or family member come to the house during the first week to be with the birthing parent and baby if they aren’t comfortable being alone yet so that the non-birthing parent can get outside or out to move. Birth has a lot of energy and I’ve seen so many partners benefit from continuing their movement practice even during the first week postpartum - get to the trails, the gym, the yoga studio. However you move your energy please continue to take care of yourself! It’s how you show up best

Introducing Baby to Siblings 

If you have older children at home there will naturally be a little more beautiful chaos postpartum as your family grows and adjusts! Community support can be essential this first week. Families welcoming 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 5th children almost always include their family, postpartum doula, sibling doula, or other caregiver support right away.

EVERYONE needs to be fed, clothed, and the day-to-day life schedule of older siblings just keeps moving! 

When you think about how your community can support you, including your older children. While you will want plenty of bonding time for siblings and baby, older kids will need time to themselves and with you too. Consider adding a playdate calendar to your meal train/care calendar or asking someone to hold the baby so that you can give your older kids the one-on-one time you will both crave with each other. 

Beyond the First Week Postpartum

Remember that these first six days are just the beginning of your postpartum journey.

Be gentle with yourself.

Ask for what you need.

Know that finding your rhythm takes time.

There's no single "right way" to navigate this period—what matters most is that you and your baby are safe, nourished, and supported.

As your postpartum journey continues, we're here to support you every step of the way.

Read the full What to Expect in the First Week after Birth Series:

What to Expect in the First Week After Birth - Part 1: How to Rest Better with Baby 

What to Expect in the First Week After Birth - Part 2: Postpartum Nourishment for Yoga and Baby - just read :)

What to Expect in the First Week After Birth - Part 3: Connection and Support During Your Postpartum Journey